What They Don’t Tell You When You Become a Parent…

Here’s your baby.

Now go out into the world and raise her right. Make sure you breastfeed. Cloth diapers are better for the environment. Feed her organic baby foods. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Enjoy your maternity leave. Don’t give up your career though. Make sure you get enough sleep. Don’t complain. Suck it up on the post partum hormones and don’t let anyone see you cry. Pumping in the bathroom is no big deal, so don’t act like it is.

Get your baby into a routine. Better get back into your prepregancy jeans right away. Don’t wear that spit up stained shirt in public, people might judge. Cover up your boobs. Is she sleeping through the night yet? Don’t let her cry it out. But let her self soothe. She needs cuddled. But if she’s too dependent on you you’ll never get anything done. Get rid of the pacifier. Why won’t she take a pacifier? Those bottles cause gas. Remember, not too much screen time.

You know what “they” don’t tell you?

That you are going to be bombarded and overwhelmed with literally everyone in the world who wants to share their unsolicited advice, tips, stories- good and bad, that it may strip the joy out of having a baby.

What should “they” tell you?

Breathe. Soak it in. Soak up that precious baby time because before you know it, that little baby will be bigger than you can possibly imagine and you’ll wonder where the years went, and long for those nights where she fell asleep on your chest to your heartbeat. You’ll miss that baby smell. And you’ll forget the total exhaustion.

They should tell you that it’s okay to find an extra set of hands to help. That it’s okay if not everything goes as planned. That you should talk to someone if you’re feeling off. That mommas struggle and sometimes we need to put our oxygen mask on first before taking care of everyone else. And that we should be selfish.

Selfish because we created a human. That our bodies went through a lot. And that we deserve to rest. They should tell us that when we feel up to it, we should take the time to make ourselves a priority every damn day.

The best thing I did for myself after baby #3 that I didn’t do with my first two was to make the time most days to move my body, release some endorphins for my own mental sanity, and learn that by taking care of me I became so much better at taking care of them. And it has made an immense difference in my mood and parenting.

Want to be a better mother? Love that baby (babies) unconditionally, but do the same for yourself too. Be selfish. You are worth it.