Does it Make Me a Bad Mommy if…

Does it make me a bad mommy if I look forward to putting my kids to bed so I can have some quiet and not a constant array of random questions? Wine optional?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I sit in the car for an extra 3 minutes after we get home and send the kids inside so I can finish listening to a song with words that aren’t kid-appropriate, reminiscing of days that I could sleep past 7 am with no other humans to worry about?

Does if make me a bad mommy if I tell them we’re out of chocolate chips only to pull the bag off the top cabinet shelf and snack on a handful while they’re at school?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I lock the bathroom door and tell them to give me 5 minutes just so I can read funny parenting articles and memes on my phone?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I sneak into their room after they’re asleep to catch an extra glimpse of those little rosy cheeks, brush that hair off of their forehead, and snuggle them once more, secretly hoping they’ll wake up just enough for me to rock them back to sleep?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I sit them in time out for bullying their sibling, for talking back to me or my husband, for ignoring the chore I asked them to do multiple times, and for saying words reserved for their teenage years when no parents are around?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I challenge them to work harder? To be better humans? To tell them they did a good job but also remind them that not everyone gets a trophy and if they want to be better they have to work for it?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I cart them off to the pediatrician, exposing their arms and legs, injecting them with antigens and decades of science to protect them initially from deadly diseases but now also those who choose “alternative” options? Teaching them scientific fact and the value of modern medicine?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I take time for myself- showing them that I deserve to feel healthy, to take care of my body and make myself a priority, and to love the skin I’m in no matter how young, old, firm, wrinkly, saggy, tight, or cellulite ridden it may be?

Does it make me a bad mommy if I demand they curl up on the couch with me, pouring over one book after the next from a fresh library stack, pushing electronics and tablets off to the side to immerse themselves in imagination?

And does it make me a bad mommy if I teach them that some days, no matter how old you get to be, no matter what your day is like, you just need to hug your mom. That as much as she seems like she’s too busy, too flustered, too anxiety ridden, she absolutely needs it too.

Good moms are tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and strong. My hope as a mother is that they’ll remember the hugs, the laughter, the stories, the snuggles, and most importantly, the love.

Kids don’t want a perfect mom. They want a happy mom.

💖