That thing in the fitting room…
I did that thing in the fitting room the other night…
I’m not particularly proud of it…
You know the thing…
Where I pick myself apart and get in my own head and say things that I used to say to myself years ago.
“What is that extra back dimple that wasn’t there a year ago?”
“Good call on the high-waisted leggings. They hide those nacho bloat from lunch.”
“This color hides the imperfections.”
“You can definitely tell you’re up 10lbs from last year.”
Then I stopped myself.
Because I’m not that girl anymore.
That girl used to judge herself hard. She used to be in a bad head space. Despite being called “skinny” or struggling with the ability to gain weight… then when she finally did, at one time with Budweiser’s and fast food, and another with pregnancy… it was hard to see that “skinny” body change.
Tonight I stopped myself in my tracks and reminded myself that this… this current phase… this current weight… these current measurements… this body… they’ve all been earned.
Earned by carrying three humans and giving them life and love. Three little girls who will not witness anything but self-love when their mother looks in the mirror.
Earned by celebrating birthdays and summer pool parties and anniversaries and the gift of being alive and deserving of celebrations that involve tacos, champagne, and everything in between.
Earned by being a woman. A strong, confident woman who carries extra body fat in our hips, stomach, bra, thighs, booty- because that’s how we’re made. And we’re damn good at carrying it too.
Earned by lifting weights. Sweating. Challenging our limits. And not wanting to be strong for a girl, but just strong. Bigger glutes. Bigger thighs. Bigger hips. Strong. Female. Body.
Those extra 10lbs? Those are experiences. Those are memories. Those are birthday dinners and summer nights filled with ice cream and giggles and back porch wine sipping and conversations with my husband. Those are moments of living.
So before you try to say anything other than how strong, beautiful, healthy, happy, and truly amazing you are next time you’re in front of that mirror…. Stop. Remember, you earned that body being you.
Unapologetically you.
By living your life and being the powerful human you are.
